There are a lot of people out there who believe that caring about a sustainable society is either for hippies or for people who are close to the top of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It seems, however, that we might have passed a tipping point. During the 2008 worldwide recession, sales of “ethical” consumer products (i.e. green, natural, organic, humane) kept on growing. It appears that even though people had less money, they were willing to spend their hard earned dollars on more expensive products by companies that they perceived as caring about people and the planet.

What is causing this tipping point? Is it the scale and type of the 2008 financial downfall that made people so disillusioned that they voted with their wallets and focused on real sustainable companies? Is it the growth of the world population passing the 7 billion people mark? Is it being born after the industrial revolution? Is it books and movies, like “Omnivores Dilemma”, “Supersize me”, “King Corn” or “Fast Food Nation”?

One thing that is clear, is that the new technologies are supporting the trend by enabling us to share information instantly and globally. Millions of people are sharing their opinions and experiences online. There are numerous research papers, indices, and assessments showing that it benefits companies to be good corporate citizens. They show that sustainable, good, ethical companies outperform the overall stock market. Key words are transparency, accountability and authenticity.

What does this all means to you and me? It starts with our own mindset. How do we want to have our voice heard? This year, I’ve decided to raise my own consciousness, and hopefully through my actions, I am able to influence others to raise theirs. The main goal I set for myself, is to every month loan money to a female entrepreneur somewhere in this world through the absolutely amazing organization of Kiva (http://www.kiva.org/). Kiva’s mission is to connect people through lending to alleviate poverty. Kiva works with microfinance institutions on five continents to provide loans to people without access to traditional banking systems. One hundred percent of your loan will be sent to these microfinance institutions, called Field Partners, who administer the loans. In addition, wherever possible, I buy local produce to minimize my carbon footprint.

I also try to spread the message through blogs like this, or by speaking about it at conferences. Next week I will be at DigitalNow, talking about “The Rise of Corporate Consciousness: Integrating Environmental and Social Principles into Organizational Strategies”.

I hope I have raised your social consciousness with this blog. I would love to hear your perspective on this issue, and what else you think we can do to create sustainable businesses and societies for generations to come.

This gap is small in some areas of my life and larger in others. I assume the same is true for most of us. I strive to narrow the gap between what I know and what I do, but am not always successful.  If there wasn’t this gap many, many authors, gurus, and motivational speakers wouldn’t make quite as much money!

This conversation and the inevitable reversion back to the “big gap” have caused me to think a lot about a few of the things that are a little “off” in my life. At times these things seem overwhelming so I don’t take any action but profess I am going to do better. This brought to mind a book and blog I read frequently, The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin. The thing I liked most about this book is that she took one year and focused on one main thing each month to change, improve, eliminate, or try.

In my attempt to work on some of my “big gap” issues, I decided to try this in a little different way. I am taking one thing a week or month that I believe I have a large gap between what I know, believe and value, and what I am doing. This week I am focusing on moving more. Not just exercise but getting up every 90 minutes from my desk to move, like the research tells us we should do;  taking a walk outside every day during the work day; and going to the yoga or exercise classes that I say are important but only attend occasionally. I am going to work on this for two weeks. I have a peg board and I made a sign to put up and have scheduled into my schedule my yoga class. My goal is over the next few months to take one thing at a time that are big gap issues for me and do something about it.  I am only going to pick a few because more than that can get overwhelming.

What are your “big gap” issues or challenges? What small step can you take to move to narrowing the gap for yourself?

Immediately I encountered resistance from those who had benefited from my negativity in the past – namely everyone. My being negative was a comfort to others who were convinced of the darkness in the world. It confirmed their own belief system. And, of course, they were loathe to believe that I’d truly changed. After all, I’d been thoroughly convincing as a naysayer, so they rightly assumed that I was just shining them on, and would return to my old patterns of behavior momentarily.

But I didn’t. Instead I changed jobs, took classes, got a coach, practiced tarot card reading, took meditation classes, and joined a mastermind group, and simultaneously embraced numerous paths to enlightenment. Honestly, writing this I think “What a nutcase I must have seemed!” (Remember, I am a physicist by education, and do have an abiding respect for logic and rational thinking.) All of this was one grand experiment to me, the result of which I couldn’t possibly have guessed at the outset – the power to create so-called “reality”.

Nearly 20 years later I find that I’m not so impressed with myself. It turns out that my journey is a familiar one – many more famous and articulate people than me have “discovered” that we have the ability to choose our attitude in any circumstance, and thus shift our perception of that which we call “reality”. Since then I’ve been practicing using optimism as a strategy for creating a better future, and I’m very grateful that I had this epiphany while there was still time for myself and others to benefit from it. I’ve been able to start my own business helping organizations transform into more life-affirming work environments where individuals can contribute their highest and best, and coach many people to have the courage to define, pursue, and achieve their dreams. Along the way there have been many times when I thought “This truly is impossible, and what a crazy waste of time to even pursue it!” – not just about my own ridiculous fantasies, but about those of the people I’ve helped. But I’ve staunchly refused to judge anything “impossible”, preferring to think of outrageous goals as “merely difficult” puzzles that have yet to be solved.

“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.”  ― Noam Chomsky

Unfortunately my commitment to optimism has been tested repeatedly in the past several years. Of course there are always incidents that test ones faith in a better future – greedy business people, corrupt government officials, individual acts of hatred.  The primary attack on my optimistic outlook has come from the news media, which is notorious for reporting bad news far out of proportion to good. Why do I bother to watch the news, read the news, follow the news? It’s been proven that people who follow the news are more depressed than those who abstain. Well, for one thing, BBC is the only English channel I can easily get during my frequent business travel to Japan, and sometimes I just can’t resist some native English dialogue, especially with an exotic (to my ears) British accent. But the most insidious threat to my peace of mind has been the conspiracy theorists among my family and friends.

What conspiracy? You name it! Limitless free power would be available to us if only the power companies didn’t purposely squash access to breakthrough inventions. The ultra-rich control most of the wealth in the world, and democratic governments are merely a front for a well-concealed elite determined to profit from us the way farmers profit from raising diary cows. Five families have purposely enslaved the human race through monetary policies implemented through the world’s banks. And, yes, JFK was murdered by his own people, and the 9/11 attacks occurred with the full cooperation of the US government. Stop the world, I want to get off!

Honestly, I don’t know whether any or all of these purported heinous allegations are true. How could I possibly know? Some of the people who hold these beliefs seem very well educated and have an army of evidence to back up their claims. But I do know that living under such a cloud of cynicism and skepticism does nothing but sap my will to make a positive difference in this world. Suppose the worst of it all is true? Then what? I seem to be pretty much powerless to do anything about it besides add my voice to the masses via social media or decrying it all loudly at my local pub. What’s a sensible person determined to make a positive difference on Planet Earth to do?

A story that has given me guidance goes like this: “There are two dogs inside of me – one white and one black. Which one will grow? The one that I feed.”  I’m not stupid. I know that there are terrible people in the world. I realize that terrible things happen, both as a result of human beings and natural disasters. AND . . . I choose to focus my attention and energy on hope, possibility, and what I can do to move courageously in the direction of a better future. I don’t judge the negative people in my life. They’re mostly attempting to avoid the disappointment that inevitably comes with optimism. I just wish they’d stop trying to protect me from disappointment by shattering my own hopes and dreams for the future. Disappointment? I can handle that. What I can’t handle is the feeling that there is no hope – that there is nothing I can do that matters. Even though my logical mind tells me that this is most probably true in the long run, every day I make it a practice to do something that lights a candle in the darkness for at least one person. Sometimes that’s by facilitating a conversation for possibilities with a group of future business leaders, and other times it’s as simple as being friendly and patient when waiting in line at the airport. Whether or not I change the course of history isn’t the point. I change my own reality by daily contributions to making the world a better place.

Daily Practice: Pretend who you are and what you do and say matters in this world. Act accordingly.

There are two dogs inside of each of us. Which dog will you feed? I’m determined to keep the black one on a starvation diet.

Louis Hays went through life with many tragedies. When she was a little girl of 18 months, she experienced her parents divorcing. She remembered with horror when her mother went to work as a live-in domestic and boarded her out. She cried nonstop for three weeks.  She was abused at the age of 5 and finally ran away from home and school at age of 15. She was diagnosed with cancer when her career had just begun to flourish in the fashion industry. However, by that time she had learned that “cancer is a dis-ease of deep resentment that has been held for a long time until it literally eats away at the body”. With her background of a battered childhood, she understood that it was not a coincidence that she manifested cancer. She also believed that since she created these mental patterns, she should be able to clear them away. So she bargained for time, and the doctors grudgingly gave her three months.

With the help of a good therapist, she expressed all the old, bottled-up anger by beating pillows and howling with rage. This provided her a great deal of relief. She also began to piece together the scraps of stories her parents had told her about their own childhoods. She began to see a larger picture of their lives. With her growing understanding, the blame slowly dissolved. In addition, she got a good nutritionist to help her cleanse and detoxify her body from all the junky foods she had eaten over the years. She was given a very strict diet with lots of green vegetables and not much else. As a result of all the thorough mental and physical cleansing, the doctor no longer could find even a trace of cancer, six months after her diagnosis.

Louis Hay suggests in her book that most diseases have an emotional root. For example breast cancer is usually due to deep unsatisfactory relationship, etc. She also documented detailed processes to help people to do mind-shifts in her book. I would like to share a simplified 4 steps process here, namely; observing, sensing, matching, and facilitating change:

1. Observing (that there is a problem) —it is interesting to note that many people don’t know they have a problem. I usually ask people to draw a picture of them as the 1^st step towards a better understanding of themselves. One time, I gave a seminar to a group of corporate managers and ask each person to draw a picture of “who am I?” Afterwards, we had an art show of everyone’s picture. One person drew a sad face with the neck tied to a solid post. Afterwards, in the group discussion, most of the people also identified with this picture although they were tied to different posts: big mortgage, job, family, location, …
2. Sensing (of what might be the causes of the problem) –Some years ago, a friend was diagnosed with a melanoma cancer grew on her colon. She came to stay with us for help. One day we asked her to write down all the thoughts in her mind on a big piece of paper. It turned out to be all negative. We then asked her to categorize them and trace the cause and effect, and it became clear that the root cause was “I am not good enough”.  She then began to tell us of all the sufferings she endured by her husband’s family in which almost all of them have Ph.D.’s and looked down on her.
3. Matching (finding where are the opportunities to eliminate the cause)– In the case of our friend, we felt that the best way to tackle her negativity would be to re-establish her self-esteem. We encouraged her to remember the happy times during her youth when her self-esteem was not damaged, as well as to see the many good qualities that she possessed such as being a great daughter, a wonderful mother, and a trusted employee, etc.
4. Facilitating change–we provided all the attention & care for our friend so that she felt nourished, while she was focusing on her positive aspects. She became grateful to many things and people, and gradually looked at the world with a different pair of lenses. She changed from a person constantly wearing a sad face to a bright person with more and more laugher over time. After she stayed in our house for 2 months, it’s time for her to have a checkup again before the 2^nd surgery. Miraculously, doctors found no more cancer cells in her body.

I’ve learned from Louise Hay that wellbeing can be achieved by a shift of mind!

There is a simple message that Achor sends in his work that has had a profound effect on my attitude toward happiness in just the last several weeks. As Achor says, we are taught that if we are successful we will be happy, when in reality if we are happy we will be successful. This, as I said, simple concept has completely changed how I approach each day. I am the parent of three young daughters, I like many parents before often ask at the end of the day, “How was your day, what did you do today?” completely disregarding their happiness, or the happiness affect that Achor speaks of. Now, I have started asking a different question at the end of each day, “What made you happy today?” The first day I asked my daughters this question, it caught them off-guard. They paused for a moment, taking the question into consideration, “What does mom want here?” “Is this for real?” Then the answers came, a friend, watching a video in class, lunch, a joke, etc. etc. Not only did they have a great time telling me, and each other about their happiness, I could tell they were enjoying reliving the experience, and in so doing, they were happy about the event all over again.

If I can impact the success of my children (and everyone else I know) by simply changing a question to focus on happiness, I will do it. Life is full of challenges and serious matters, if happiness really opens up all of the learning centers in the brain, why wouldn’t we spend more time doing just that? Think of the impact on the world.

I challenge you, today, do not save happiness for the future; bring it into your world today. Please take Achor’s 21 day challenge to re-set your brain for a happiness focus: Write down three things you are grateful for each day, write a journal entry about a happy experience that you’ve recently had, exercise, meditate, and engage in random acts of kindness.

Some of these might include, telling someone a joke, enjoying the sunset, taking a walk, telling someone how much you appreciate them, or simply asking, “What made you happy today?”
Whatever you do, pass it on.

Perhaps it was kismet, but I was quite surprised to read Michelangelo’s March 3 essay, having always intended to submit this week’s blog on the subject of reconciling apparent contradictions when traveling the sometimes uneven road to sustained well being.  We need not look farther than the current political season to see a lack of willingness to embrace disparate views.  Televised “reality” thrives on edited conflict and contradiction.  In our personal lives, a perceived slight, bumper to bumper traffic or a shoe lace that snaps with no time left can displace a disproportionate amount of time and energy, leaving us distracted or drained for part of the day.  Instant remedies abound – from a fast food fix to mood altering drugs prescribed for  “psychiatric disorders” that might merely be symptoms of shyness.  A simple fear of public speaking or eating alone in a restaurant is now characterized as social anxiety disorder in the latest versions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

Americans looking for a long-term method of balancing their lives are increasingly moving beyond the quick fix.  According to a survey conducted by the Center for Disease Control‘s National Center for Health Statistics, in the first seven years of the 21^st century Americans spent 33.9 billion out-of pocket on complimentary classes and self-care products.  Twelve percent of the out-of- pocket money was specifically spent on Yoga, Tai Chi and Qigong.  Having studied Eastern philosophies and their accompanying wellness systems since high school, this makes perfect sense.  All three practices offer aerobic exercise, meditation and a philosophical system based on two of the most widely read books in the history of humankind – the Bagadavita & the Tao Te Ching.

Taoism in particular offers a way to reconcile what we often feel is irreconcilable.  Tao is often translated as “the way” or “gate” through which all things move.  “To move with the tao is to be in a state that Christianity refers to as ‘grace’.  Both physical and meditative systems, Tai Chi & Qigong, practice the same philosophy and principles of Yin and Yang.  In the Western world the Yin and the Yang are often thought of as contradictory forces in opposition.  In the East, Yin and Yang are two aspects of one unity or holism – two complimentary forces creating a whole, just  as day leads into night.  Even Chinese medicine is based on the tenet that Yin and Yang harmony are needed for good health.

As a student of Tai Chi, I can attest that the physical practice can create internal balance.  If done correctly, that seemingly slow, easy movement of dozens of practitioners in the park involves a level of physical concentration and a balance of dominant and non-dominant sides of the body and brain.   It also stimulates the endorphins, leading to a self-generated feeling of well being.    Often when traveling to what could be a stressful professional meeting I will rely on a few minutes of Tai Chi to smooth out any unnecessary anxiety.

Some of the greatest tragedies in drama and fiction, not to mention contemporary public life, are based on the notion of a larger than life icon with a tragic flaw – a contradiction of character which leads to a fall from grace.  One wonders if these personality imbalances might sometimes be altered with a practice that promotes good health purely because we are “balanced internally” in mind, body and spirit.

Life keeps moving, things are in a constant state of change, moving, going, without stopping for anyone. Things accumulate, you add more things on the list. More things fill up your day. It’s easy to get sidetracked, distracted, to lose focus, to lose perspective. To lose sight of who you are and where you want to go.

When these things accumulate, when the to do list is endless and the phone calls, emails, text messages, meetings, project deadlines, holidays, birthdays, school events, dentist appointments, house cleaning, dinner guests fill up your list until it seems there is no time left for you, not one minutes can be sacrificed – Not one moment of reflection, not one breath – you are lost.

This is when you must find that “you” time. That time to breathe. To reflect. To remove yourself from everything, just enough so that you can observe it, ponder it, and see it from a sane perspective. Then you can begin working that balance again.

It is a constant challenge. It takes constant vigilance to keep checking in with yourself, to test that your balance is right. To sniff the air and decide if you are going in the right direction. To check that you are walking on the right path.

It can be discouraging to find yourself in these places where it seems you worked so hard to create a certain balance only to have had it erased by an avalanche of stuff to do, by the grind of our daily lives.

But this is life. It is an avalanche of stuff, of people, of connections and thoughts and ideas and things to do. And so, to keep that balance, to create those moments where you can breathe and think, requires discipline.

I am reminded that checking in with myself must become a habit.  I must regularly look deep, I must question, I must feel. I must understand how to return to that place and learn to make sense of it, to read the signs. To not get overwhelmed by life to the point of losing my own identity; I need to not neglecting myself.

And then I can ride the avalanche.

The nuts and bolts and how to’s I will leave for another day…what I’m going to speak to today is how critical taking RESPONSIBILITY is.

Most of us avoid taking personal responsibility for conflict resolution. Even though our culture is litigious, we  lack the courage to deeply connect with others and we personally avoid confrontation. If we have a disagreement in a business transaction or with a neighbor, we may let a lawyer take care of it. If we have emotional conflict, we may visit a therapist or counselor who we hope will tell us what to do.

The symptoms of conflict are  stress, pain, and discomfort. When you take personal responsibility, you can impact  the cause  of the pain much faster than if you ask someone else to resolve the situation for you. Being  responsible requires being open and vulnerable. If you are unwilling or unable to be authentic about your feelings, you may be quick to give up responsibility, and instead take false safety and security behind a more sterile, professional process. In doing that, you give up the potential  of addressing  your real concerns, getting to the core of the conflict, and reaching resolution.

Delegating conflict resolution to  professionals who know how to diagnose and resolve your problems is a culturally learned response. But delegation compromises us when  the professionals believe— they are experts better equipped to make key decisions that affect the core of our lives. These conflicts are filled with our feelings and emotions, and the professional we hand the conflict to does not have to live with the results of the  resolutions.

I am suggesting that we all become more personally responsibility in dealing with and preventing conflict . I’m asking you to adopt practices, and to assume a new attitude in the world. Please think about ways you might take personal responsibility for dealing with conflict, differences and disagreement; and that you become “ResponseAble.” Giving the process away deprives you of the satisfaction of “getting to resolution.” When you are involved you are uniquely capable of designing the best resolution as well as having the energy for follow through because you own the solution. You derive value, strength, and the sense of self that full participation provides.

Taking responsibility for having clear agreements around our personal and professional collaborations will go a long way toward contributing to the presence of well being in your life!

I would like to think I am a person who believes everything is a miracle, however occasionally it is just down right difficult to see the beauty of the current situation. Maybe the miraculous part is that I am even here to experience the world around me at all. I think what it boils down to is that happiness or success is something that doesn’t just happen to you. It takes the X, Y, and Z of life to maintain long term happiness.

For me I get a great deal of personal satisfaction from work. It makes me feel like part of a larger working system and that I am a benefit to my community. I can also say I get a lot of joy and “battery recharging” from taking time off as well. At this point in my life I have found it is beneficial to take a day off from time to time and do as little as possible. This gives me the much needed opportunity to reflect on things and appreciate all the great things that I do have. It can be daunting at times when I start to think of all the “things” I need to do or say, and I find myself getting upset. That is when I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, and acknowledge that these are just thoughts and we are not our thoughts. Many people around are feeling the same way and maybe don’t need to be reminded of the negative aspects of life via my complaining. So for me I think the lesson is to choose my words wisely and speak more about the positive things in life, plans for the future, funny stories and things that make others think, smile or laugh.

Many sensitive and prominent entrepreneurs, intellectuals, scientists, artists and cultural promoters participated with their understanding, knowledge and experiences through the Seven International Empathy Gatherings we held in Guadalajara from 1985 to 1995. Among them we listened to Jerry Wagner, Larry and Barbie Dossey, Marilyn Ferguson, Karl Pribram, Lorin Hollander, John David Garcia, José Rogelio Alvarez, Willlis Harman, Joan Borysenko, George Beelen, Rosa Larios, Juan Lafarga, Frank Hider Jr., Sue Gill Rose, Carlos de Obeso, Joanna Lester and Jo Ellen Jorde. The harvest of these Gatherings was the realization of Empathy’s importance for the achievement of integrated individuals, capable of designing and constructing an integral planetary society of wellbeing, happiness and meaningful culture.

We navigated among these Valleys, exploring in each one of them a specific theme related with the essential qualities that Empathy has within the human psyche and soul: The Valley of the Quest, The Valley of Love, The Valley of Intuition, The Valley of Detachment, The Valley of Unity, The Valley of Astonishment and The Valley of Comprehension.

Wagner used empathy as the glue for unifying business and art. Lafarga expressed the humanistic relationship between empathy and walking a couple of miles in the shoes of the other. Dossey related empathy with integral healing beyond the physical body. David Garcia presented the interaction among empathy and the universal perception. Borysenko stated the link between empathy and minding the body by mending the mind. Harman equated the practice of empathy with the creation of a sustainable planet. Alvarez expanded the practice of empathy towards the generation of a truly human History. Pribram presented his exploration related with the holistic storage of data in the human brain. Rosa Larios explained how the practice of empathy helped her to transcend her cancer. Lester performed empathy as the link between love and music. Ferguson explained the crucial role of empathy in the conformation of a new age. Gill Rose, Hider Jr., Beelen and Jo Ellen Jorde demonstrated with their actions the power of empathy in the creation of cultural alliances throughout the world. Hollander opened with his music our empathy to accomplish a personal mystical experience. Carlos de Obeso traced the route for navigating the Seven Valleys with the writing of the Empathy Manifesto. At the end of the Seventh Gathering, having crossed the Valley of Comprehension, we departed to our communities with the sense that the Empathy Journey was successfully completed.

Great was my surprise when in 2006 Jerry Wagner sent me an incredible book titled “A Whole New Mind” by Daniel H. Pink. As soon as I read the book, I obtained an incredible confirmation for all the efforts we made during those years related with the Empathy Odyssey. I came to fully accept Pink’s realization that the application of design, storytelling, symphonic interaction, empathic attitude, playfulness and the generation of meaning are the new qualities needed now for the creation of the future. Pink’s text ascribes these qualities to the use of the right side of the brain. However, remembering Pribram’s contributions about the holistic manner in which the human brain storages memory and Dossey’s explanations about the existence of One Mind, I found myself full of gratitude for the comprehension gained through the collective experiences we had from the journey of the Seven Empathy Valleys.

Coming to the present, the readings of the clear and diverse emotional concepts posted in the Wellbeing posts have motivated me to recognize your influence towards my practical sense of wellbeing and happiness, opening a call for exploring together the Eightfold Empathy Valley of Gratitude on July 7 of this year in Guadalajara, as a means for accepting the creation of a future in which we, planetary citizens, are able to perceive ourselves in each other’s experience, with a clear understanding that no future is possible without a sustainable and harmonic integration of all humanity’s happiness and wellbeing. I wish you will be here at Guadalajara for uniting together our empathic wellbeing with joy and happiness.